Three Cups of Tea

– Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

When the porcelain bowls of scalding butter tea steamed in their hands, Haji Ali spoke. “If you want to thrive in Baltistan, you must respect our ways, “ Haji Ali said, blowing on his bowl. “The first time you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger. The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family, and for our family, we are prepared to do anything, even die,” he said, laying his hand warmly on Mortenson’s own. “Doctor Greg, you must make time to share three cups of tea. We may be uneducated. But we are not stupid. We have lived and survived here for a long time.”

“That day, Havi Ali taught me the most important lesson I’ve every learned in my life,” Mortenson says. “We Americans think you have to accomplish everything quickly. We’re the coutry of thirt-minute power lunches and two-minute football drills. Our leaders through their ‘shock and awe’ campaign could end the war in Iraq before it even started. Haji Ali taught me to share three cups of tea, to slow down and make building relationships as important as building projects. He taught me that I had more to learn from the people I work with than I could ever hope to teach them.”


I have been enjoying a bit of leisure reading among my language and literature readings this week. The message of sharing tea with the people relates to sharing coffee with people in Latin America. I have been valuing the relationships that are built around the table, asking questions, listening, sharing stories, learning...God is present in this dialogue!

May you make time to share a cup of tea...or coffee...with someone soon! And then another cup...and a third!