Learning Cultural Differences first hand…

El aprendizaje de la cultura de primera mano…

A recap of the last weekend/week to refresh my memory!

Last weekend (Oct. 2-3):
I experienced my first family fiesta for my Abuelo’s cumpleaños (Grandpa’s birthday). ALL the family came over Saturday night to celebrate! We would have fellowshipped with food and the fútbol game except that it was delayed because of strong lighting and thunder. Instead the little chicos entertained us by dancing in the middle of the living room. They have no shame and loved the attention!

Cultural differences:
I learned that communication is INDIRECT firsthand by an error(s) that I made at the birthday party! Abuela (grandma) has issues with my eating habits that I was unaware of. I found out because she had enough of it when she saw me snitch a bit of frosting remaining in the cake pan after everyone had eaten cake. She did not appreciate this and thought it was very dirty. How did I find out?? WELL, since you never directly confront someone, she approached her host student Elizabeth and let everything out to her, and then to my Mom the next day. So I heard these issues through Elizabeth, a friend who could let me know in a nice way! Ha! Really the whole situation is comical and it is a personal issue of Abuela. Not just a cultural issue. Abuela is the queen of the kitchen; it is where she feels control.

Here I thought that I was blessed to have the opportunity to get to know my abuelo’s family beside my own host family because they live down the street. I visit Elizabeth in the evening sometimes and because they eat later than our family, I happen to be there around 9pm dinner time. They have invited me to eat with them sometimes. LASP tells us to eat what is offered to us, so I don’t question it but appreciate the TIME and the RELATTIONSHIPS that are formed around the table. I had no idea that Abuela thinks I eat a lot or too much, since yes, I do get enough food at my house, even though it is something lighter (or whiter like bread!) and earlier with Mami at cafecito. So yes, I know that I shouldn’t have snitched the leftover frosting from the cake pan, but I was unaware that I really should not be saying yes to the offer of food all the time. Abuela offers me food because that is polite or courteous, but in her heart, she doesn’t actually mean it. So I need to manipulate my response to the question to see if she really means it.

At Laura’s house, I am seeing what true hospitality is from another mother who is queen of the kitchen. But this situation made me question whether this Mom’s offer to have tea or coffee with them is genuine or not as well! Ah! Because here again, I feel privileged to get to relate to another family and learn around the table from them.

I did not approach Abuela about this, but talked to LASP staff and Mami. Mami (the daughter of Abuela) was understanding and carries a different perspective of the kitchen. She treats me equal to her children. If Sebas opens the fridge, JoJo can open the fridge. If Ale wants more bread, JoJo can have more bread. Whereas at Abuela’s we should always ask before taking or helping ourselves to more…or in my situation, not even ask! Every family is different! And I am grateful for this interesting indirect situation, that I could learn first hand!

On Sunday I spent the day with my friend Laura. We went to the church (a typical evangelical Latin American church) where her brother and his band were leading worship. I appreciated their worship more than the pastor’s strong and loud sermon about the Word that lacked depth of teaching from the Scripture. I wonder what the people actually take away from the sermon to live out each week. It can be all fiery and emotion in the moment…this applies to many churches, not just in Latin America. After church, this band took Laura, Laura, and I to eat Japanese food at their favorite restaurant. I took advantage of the opportunity to learn from them and practice español! So here I am in Costa Rica ordering Japanese food in español. Quite a mix of culture, eh! I tried sushi for the first time! It was good, but nothing extravagant to me! (And I avoided eating the rolls with raw seafood…but I did have caviar).

The week (Oct. 4-8):
This was the final week of our Core Seminar at LASP and Language classes at ICADS. So we were completing final projects like a 10 page research paper (mine on poverty, specifically the people who live in/from the dumps) and a 10 minute presentation in español (mine on the contamination in San José). It is amazing to look back on how much I have learned/experienced through the classroom, not to mention the trips and family living, in 5 weeks alone!

In LASP we had 2 charlas (lectures/speakers) this week. The first charla intended to prepare us for our 2 week journey in Nicaragua (Oct. 11-21). A Central American missionary John Stam shared his experiences in Nicaragua and an overview of Nicaraguan history. He challenged us to become more informed about the world through reading data/news. However the interpretation of data is integral because the media presents data in a manner that can manipulate the public! So he encouraged us to get accurate and adequate information, get in depth interpretation, and consider a responsible action.

“Countries are like people, they’re fascinating, fun, and when you get to know them, you can really learn a lot.” –John Stam

Stam has a curiosity for Nicaragua. Even though Nicaragua borders Costa Rica, they are 2 completely opposite countries, which relates to their development historically. The United States has destructive history in Nicaragua, driving the Somoza nationalistic government with their own political and economic interests in mind. Where front doors are closed in Costa Rica they are open wide in Nicaragua. Stam has myriad of connections in Latin America. He even was invited to meet with Fidel Castro with a group of evangelicals hosting a conference in Cuba. Castro was full of questions about the book of Revelation. Stam had the opportunity to use his knowledge to dialogue with Casto about faith. Stam could tell us stories for hours about ministry in Central America where he has been able to understand people by loving them first, not by being a “soul winner.”

Faith and Practice in Latinoamérica: guest speaker Melinda Bates, wrapped up our series of charlas at LASP by sharing her experience as a missionary and woman pastor in Costa Rica. Instead of presenting new/shocking information to us, she showed us a direct application of the things we have been learning through the example of her ministry. Her life is a ministry of listening: the ministry of CAFECITO! God’s presence is evident to her through conversations around the table with a cup of coffee. On the road to Emmaus, the two disciples recognized who Jesus was in communion, in hospitality. Thus, her life and mission is sharing stories. She has a voice in the community and in the States, she influences the mainstream by sharing the stories of the marginalized. She shared the story about a pueblito (small village) outside of Alejuela where God is at work and multiplying the fruit of a group of woman who came together to create a small preschool.

I appreciated Melinda’s perspective because it affirmed truths of what ‘mission’ is. Missionary often carries a negative connotation. Through my 5 weeks here I have been reconsidering what being a “missionary” truly means. Melinda can testify that it is “not about success, it’s about faithfulness” and it is “not about fixing things, it’s about learning.” Why do we think that we have the answers or can fix problems? Americans assume that they have a place at the table instead of coming in and listening to stories of marginalized. (I do not deny that North America is generous and innovative, but much of American history has been painful and hurtful to Latin America).

Change only happens when we listen to each other. When we are in the mainstream we don’t even think about it or worry about it. We are comfortable. We are privileged. I know that I have more responsibility because I have access to the mainstream and people will listen to me. I am learning to be curious! I have a responsibility to share the stories that I am gifted with in Latin America. BUT how do I share the “other” perspective to people who have not been there and have only the North American perspective?!

Thank you for listening. I appreciate responses too!

P.S. During my 2 weeks in Nicaragua, I will most likely not have access to Internet (that doesn’t mean you can’t email me!). We are spending a few days in the capital Managua in a student center learning from speakers and classes. We will be separated for 5 days to live with host families in neighboring villages learning through daily life and relationships. The final days will be spent together in Granada. Pray that my heart remains open to listening and learning through people!